Greenpeace

Has it slipped passed anyone that John McCain has a serious fixation with the movie Top Gun? Poor John and his glory days. That's all he's got to cushion his fall now. I thought at first that John has the real taste for blood in his mouth, that he truly wanted to get to the white house and reform. There I go allowing my naiive notions to cloud my judgements again. The more I see of McCain and his "maverickiness," the more I am convinced that the poor old guy's just along for the ride. He's getting the fight of his life in the presidential debate and the worst that could happen now is if he were to win and be stuck with Palin for four years. I don't think McCain expected any of this, and I don't see the fire in his eyes to back up all those words. What's left then, is just a lot of hot air. Palin, on the other hand, has got to be working for Russia. Maybe she's a prototype of a new top-secret robotic model the Russians have been working on under our noses for years. I'm waiting for her head to explode on election day like Austin Powers' kamikaze bride. Can't you just imagine Vladimir Putin giving verbal comands into the metal woman's ear? And look to the evidence... "Economic umbrella" isn't a term someone would give the green light to if they were of their own sound mind and body. No, I think I would rather put my money and health in the hands of Tina Fey than Sarah Palin. There are two things about these mavericks that turns my heart to an icebox (ha). About a year ago, I heard McCain refer to Inuits as "eskimos," and have heard it several times there after. Palin herself has used the term and she's closer than any of them to Inuit native land! Eskimo is derrogatory, yet our presidential hopeful tosses it around as though its nothing. Shame, shame, J-Mac, that's very un-educated of you. Secondly, I support our troops... My brother has served two tours in Baghdad, but I don't think he ought to run for president. I also don't think if he WERE to run for president, he should get votes simply because he fought for our country with a gun. That's one way to fight, there are others. John McCain uses his stint as a POW to gain pity votes, and it's intolerable. Give me a good policy and I will vote for you John McCain, but don't expect a free-bee because you empregnate the media with the reminder that you suffered for America. Americans at home are suffering now, and POW pictures arn't going to fix the economy or lower gas prices. In closing, I want it on the record that I didn't like the first Maverick, and I like the second one even less.

Can you believe it has been a YEAR since I have blogged with Greenpeace? You know those amazing summaries people always wind up making when they fell of the planet for awhile... or just don't want to go in to detail about the drawn-out bore that is their history? Well I'm about to send one of those out into the void right now. Get prepared. Its been an interesting year, people. A lot has happened to change me, a lot has changed around me, too. I went to powershift last November, thanks to this little blog, and it was a cathartic moment in my life. Sadly, a month later, I managed to find myself in a pretty serious relationship (or so I thought) and let most everything fall by the waste-side. And that's what I want to talk to you about today, friends. Girl finds passion, girl finds boy, boy drains passion, boy leaves girl, girl left to start anew. So, like a pheonix from the ashes, I find myself riseing back to the destiny I left behind for love. Its amazing what a person can see about her life in hindsight, isn't it? I altered my course for an entire year to make it work with this man (who will forever remain anonymous), who turned out to be a child. A child who needed all mommy's attention. Moral of this story? I let myself go. No, not in the non-showering-non-shaving-eat-chocolate-ice-cream-straight-from-the-carton sence, but in the spiritual sence. In the driven sence. In the self-aware sence. I knew what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be before this guy came in to my life. And while I was with him, I let his needs dictate what I WOULD be and what I WOULD do. That's not right. By anyone's standards. They shouldn't have been acceptable by me, and he should have loved me more than to be so selfish as to allow me to give up on things that were important to me long before he came along. I hate to say it, but to understand where I went while I was falling off the face of the planet... you need to understand something. This man... this guy... this child... complete and utter republican. In the worst sence. In the way that he plugs his ears and starts singing a song if I even mentioned the words "alternative fuel." He would scoff at the idea of global warming, he would chuckle at my "naiive" desire to make a difference. If I were feeling cruel, I would venture to say the child had no heart or soul left. Even if he were to support the ideas simply because the woman he loved found them important. But no. So what happened, you ask? I changed. Why? Now I don't know? For a love that was immature and unreal? For a male's attention? Whatever the reason, I have settled with the understanding that we all make mistakes. We all wish we were accepted, and some of us are willing to change, or at least ignore, the very core of ourselves to feel some sort of connection with another human being. It took me a year to realize that in order to do all of that, I was forgoeing a connection with myself. Which brings us all back to this very spot. Greenpeace. The organization that threw me a bone and invited me along to a student summit on climate control. And then I spit in the face of it by letting it all go. Never never never never never never never give up on what you KNOW is important, on what you care about in your heart, and what you would spend your life trying to make a difference in. It's not worth it, not for any relationship, and its especially detrimental to the relationship you have with yourself. I have learned so much in this past year, and sadly I owe none of it to my ex. Ours was a damned relationship from the start, and I have more hope in the relationship we each have with Mother Earth than I ever had for us. This rotting, trash-infested, over-crowded planet has given more to me than he did, and now I am going to spend my time the way I wanted to in the beginning. Giving back to her.

tonight, i am going to ramble. and here's why. tonight, i fufilled a dream that i never thought would happen. i met the one person in this world i wanted to meet above any other. jane goodall. my hero. the woman i want to be, the person i hope to become, the goals i wish to achieve. jane goodall. representing everything true, honest, heartfelt, hard-working, compassionate, peaceful, and GOOD in this world. and i met her. i drove for 4 hours today to see her. 3 days before my 21st birthday. it was the most amazing time of my life. it was all i could do to hold back tears through out the night. she just means so much to me. listening to her tonight, i couldnt take my eyes off of her, i couldn't stop wanting to be this woman standing before me. i just wanted to tell her how much she has helped me discover who i am. and when i met her... everything i always wanted to say, everything i wished i could explain to her... it only came out as "that's me" when she asked who amanda was. she looked into my eyes and i looked back and i saw the world in her. i saw everything i have every wanted to do with this life, with my time on earth, i saw it happening all in her eyes. she tells a story just by glancing at you. her presence and her way are undeniable. and she looked right at me and said "thanks so much for joining us." you see i joined roots and shoots tonight, the youth organization set up by jane goodall to change the world. and thats what i want to do and thats what i will do in order to be happy in this life. jane goodall. perpetuating my days, as always.

Ok, I'll admit it, I'm a postsecret whore.  I love to read people's deepest darkest mysteries.  It always makes me wish beyond anything else that I could send in my secrets.  I always think, I don't really even have any good ones.  But then I sat back for just a moment, and tangoed with all my inner demons.  Here's the thing; if I sent in a postsecret, all it would have to say is, "I am one huge contradiction."  I am a liberal, feminist, socialist, anarchist, environmentalist, conservationist, activist, spokesperson, whistle-blower, voter, daughter, and earthling.  YET, I throw away recyclables, waste hundreds on gas, leave the lights on, use plastic instead of paper, eat too much, sit too much.  I find everything wrong with the world and think about how it should change but do nothing.  My postsecret would be that I am full of bullsh**.  I, me, this one human body, does more to ruin this world than thinks to change it.  So often I find myself writhing inside at the gluttony that we have allowed ourselves to succumb to, yet I am one of the very same that has succumb.  I have stopped the battle with myself, and I realize, the only way to win the war against all the evil in this world is to first recognize and rid yourself of the evil in you.  How hard is it really to ask for paper at the grocery store?  Or even still, bring a canvas bag of your own?  Not hard, just different, and for as much as every one, myself most definitely included, is CRYING OUT for change, change is the very thing that scares us into silence and inaction.  Well for god's sake, it stops for me.  I refuse to have this postsecret looming over my head any longer.  Sending a slip of paper in to the powers that be isn't going to fix it, ACTION, CHANGE, is going to fix it.  What am I so scared of?  A better life?  A happier existence?  It's time to start making an impact, by impacting less. I'm going to do it.  Today.  Won't you join me?

Last night, I went with new friends out to a place that I had never been. When I went t work that evening, I knew it was going to be a normal, uneventful night. Work 5-9, call some people, raise some money for Iowa State, go home, finally get some rest. But as the work night was winding down and I was preparing myself for a quiet evening at home, something happened that I hadn't expected. A girl from work that I have gotten along with from the start, asked if I wanted to go hang out at the beach and have a fire. No joke, it took me by surprise. I've only worked at my job for a month, I've just met her and all of a sudden, she wants to be my friend. "Do you want to go out to Peterson Pits with me?" she said. I wouldn't have that bravery. It's tough to do something where you could get rejected. It's intimidating to meet new people and be judged and wonder if you'll have a good time. Friendship is a difficult thing and she dove in head first. I was so happy to hang out with someone new and that fearless. We got out to this beach where I had never been, and went into the woods to collect kindling. No kindling to be found, but we found so many fallen trees, we probably hauled 70 lbs worth of wood back to the beach. I was hot and dripping sweat, but we built our fire from scratch. Just a lighter between us, and a little newspaper, and we managed a magnificent fire. Once our other friends got there, we had a nice party going. Everyone complimented the two of us for building the fire and doing a better job then they could have. So us ladies and our guy friends all sat around talking, about life and love and why we are here. The night was such a success in my book. I felt so good to be among me peers, exploring these new friends and this new place, and feeling good that I had the chance to be in this place and time. It was amazing. On the ride home, I kept thinking how lucky I am to be here and to be alive. I am so fortunate to be able to have those experiences, and make the most of each night and day. I guess my point is that you can never expect everything to go as you plan. Most of the time, plans only serve to keep us from going crazy and losing our way. But plans almost always change. And sometimes they turn into something wonderful and unexpected and better then you could have imagined. Make your plans, have your goals, but be prepared and appreciative when everything falls apart. So I didn't go home last night and sit around and finish my essay for class, so I didn't get as much sleep as I needed. That was the plan. And what happened instead? I had the night of my life. I made connections with an amazing group of individuals. Prepare for your life, and take surprises in stride. You could never imagine the things that will happen to you to change your plans. And thank god that life is that exciting.