Greenpeace

It has come to our attention that talk show host Stephen Colbert of the Colbert Report has suggested on multiple occasions that bears are a "threat" to America as part of his bit - "the Threatdown."  Well guess what, Mr. Colbert, we are going to BLOW YOUR MIND: Not only are bears not a threat, looks like polar bears may actually be listed as threatENED.

Fasten your seatbelts: it's going to be a truthful ride!

That's right.  We teamed up with the Natural Resources Defense Council and the Center for Biological Diversity and sued the pants off of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (figuratively speaking, they still have pants) to list the polar bear as a threatened species.  But the Fish and Wildlife Service was clearly afraid of our awesome power and is considering our claim before ever stepping foot in a courtroom.

Mr. Colbert can put Greenpeace in the "dead to me" column if he can't deal with our advocacy, but we intend to fight for all bears, everywhere.  Mr. Colbert's silly fear of bears is wimpy and un-American.  If he needs a REAL threat for his threatdown, he should try global warming.

Oh, and by the way, after our 10-year campaign, the Canadian government announced it is going to protect the Great Bear Rainforest from logging and other destruction.  The forest is so named because it is one of the last grizzly strongholds in the world.  We're making sure that Yogi and Pooh will be around long after the Colbert Nation crumbles.  Put that in your pipe and smoke it.